Being down with the sickness: How come lil germs are stronger than me when I'm significantly taller?

Welcome back to The Lounge. Here is a glass of Lysol for you to sip on, and please don’t touch anything, because as the title implies: I am down with the sickness. What sickness you may ask? Idk man, my nose is running, my head hurts, I’m achy but honestly, I only say that because other people say it and truly I don’t really understand what it means, and I keep coughing in similar fashion to a person with tuberculosis.

What does being sick mean to you? For me, it means everything. Because it means I can’t be as funny as I usually am because my brain is playing at .5 speed. Everything is in slow motion. and everything hurts. I’ll respond with a witty joke about five minutes after you say it, painting me as completely delusional which is accurate. Alas, I am trying to think of a funny way to incorporate a joke three paragraphs from now to show how I’m playing at .5 speed but I really am playing at .5 speed so it’s nearly impossible.

Hopefully, you guys are still laughing at the title and the image I edited for it because it’s basically all the Joke Juice™ I have left in me. Joke Juice is similar to - well guys I walked away from the computer because Matthew came home and I’m now at .0025 brain speed so we’ll just move onto another topic.

I got ̶G̶r̶a̶m̶m̶e̶r̶l̶y̶, ̶G̶r̶a̶m̶m̶a̶l̶y̶ ̶, ̶G̶r̶a̶m̶e̶r̶L̶e̶a̶h̶, Grammarly to fix my spelling and writing because apparently it works and it is horribly judgemental. Like, come on. Just because I spell every other word wrong, and make sentences about 67% more verbose than necessary, doesn’t mean you have to make the little horrified emoji come up. That is far too extra and rude. Why can’t you be like Word and just have the little red squiggles of sadness and the green squiggles of having a bad time? Instead, you have the red squiggles and emojis all judging me in a similar fashion.

I can hear the emojis saying, “Wow, you really think you can be an effective blog writer” IT JUST DID IT AGAIN THE SHOCKED EMOJI IS STARING AS I TYPE. I cannot live with this level of judgment but I am also too lazy to turn off the plugin. Now I’m testing the system by making ever grammar faux-pas (Fox-Pass) possible. I clicked on the shocked emoji and it said that there are over twenty clarity enhancement to be made.

GRAMMARLY you misunderstand the point of The Lounge. There is no clarity. Nothing is clear. My only hope for fixing this cold is to get CLARITIN CLEAR. That was my .5 speed joke I came up with. Now I realize that Claritin is for treating allergies, not the cold. I’ve decided it’s best if we leave The Lounge right now. Sorry guys. I’ll be back better than ever or just the same or worse later on. Don’t get sick like me.